F**K You for the Voodoo that You Do - Boo Hoo!


I seriously think I've been Hexed. It all started yesterday. I was supposed to go hiking with a friend, on a as yet unconquered picturesque trail and when I checked the weather the night before it was supposed to be clear and sunny.

I awoke to heavy rain beating against the window. The forecast had changed drastically to cloudy and showers (the weather changes in an instant in these parts). I was bummed, but we had to postpone the hike for another day. Everything went arse over tits downhill from then on.

So as not to write-off the day completely, I decided I had but 2 simple tasks to complete for the day.

My simple mission, should I choose to accept it would be:

1. Buy maps of the hiking trails in Hong Kong so I wouldn't be getting lost AGAIN!

2. Buy a new wireless router so 'herself' won't be hogging my laptop

Estimated completion time: 90 minutes
Time of departure: 11:30am

Mission accepted!

I 'memorised' the address of the map shop and nearby there was a computer mall where I could buy a router.

I hopped on a bus to the centre, where it should have been a 10 minute walk to the map shop.

Construction everywhere so I detour thru a local sidewalk food court. Oh Oh! - dead end or walk thru the kitchen where people are brandishing meat cleavers...hmmm.. me thinks not - U-Turn back the way I came - Sigh!

20 minutes later, I arrived at my intended destination, '25 Shanghai St' only to find it's not a map store but a butchers with ...you guessed it..people brandishing meat cleavers. Well this is all going to plan - NOT! (I later discover I should have been looking for '250 Shanghai St' - PILLOCK!

I try to Google the address on my iPhone but can't find it and eventually decide I'll just try a book store. I end up in another construction zone dead end - U-Turn back the way I came - Sigh! - GOBSHITE!

The book store doesn't have the maps I want so wasted trip - Feck! I eventually find the website and it says most post offices sell the maps, so I walk another 20 minutes and get to the counter only to be told they don't sell them anymore, BUT he tells me I can buy them at the map store at 250 Shanghai Street - ARGH! - TOSSER!!!!!

I decide to buy the wireless router on the way which in the end takes an hour and then hop a bus back to '250 Shanghai Street' to buy the maps - but miss my stop and end up 10 minutes the wrong side of where I want to be. - MUPPET!

I FINALLY get to the store and order the maps which were pricier than I thought and I don't have enough cash and they don't take credit cards so I have to leave, find an ATM and return and EVENTUALLY purchase the maps. - HALLELUJAH!!!

Actual task completion time: 5 hours
Time of completion: 16:30pm


I then did what any self respecting Irishman would do in this situation. It was time to try to flush the demons out with Holy Stout. So I met a friend in Delaney's Irish Pub for several doses of vitamin 'G' to rid myself of the devils curse.

Vitamin'G'

It seemed to work. I had no more mishaps, had a good time and got home safely, BUT.....

....Today I spent 6 hours configuring the blasted new frikkin' wireless router. I then remembered it's exactly one year to the day since this similar wireless router incident happened (click here) - How f***ed up is that?! Cure for a hex anyone?


Tags: ..Voodoo..


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7 comments:

Baino October 10, 2009 12:12 am  

A Pillock, gobshite, tosser muppet - that's going down in the anals of humour I can tell you! And to cap it off your 'click here' linky doesn't work. Don't they have service stations in Honkers! They always sell maps!

Paddy in BA (Quickroute) October 10, 2009 12:25 am  

@ Baino: Yeah they sell street maps everywhere but this was a special hiking map. Thanks I fixed the 'click here' link

wandermom October 10, 2009 12:38 am  

My evening: watched The Commitments with the kids. Decided to check email/fb/twitter before hitting the sack. Read your post. Cracked up. Feel 100% full of Dublin-ese for the day now.

Paddy in BA (Quickroute) October 10, 2009 12:46 am  

@ Wandermom: That's one of my all time fav movies - Fav quote:

Q. "Yer not bringing dat horse in the lift are ya?

A. Yeah - Sure the bleedin' stairs would kill him!

Megan October 10, 2009 11:58 pm  

Oh that made me laugh! Thanks, I needed it!

I hope there is a significant decrease in meat-cleaver sightings soon!

nick October 11, 2009 5:22 am  

Ha, one of those days when everything gets snarled up from the word go. Haven't we all had plenty of them? I hope at least that you get some fabulous hikes out of them thar hard-won maps!

Paddy in BA (Quickroute) October 13, 2009 12:20 pm  

@ Megan: Thanks - glad it made someones day!

@ Nick: Yeah - the day from hell - the maps have already paid for themselves I'm happy to report!

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